Hey everyone,
I am Indian and one of the major differences that I have observed between my culture and American culture is with the concept of marriage. In our culture, it is perfectly normal to have an arranged marriage. In fact, we have been having this custom, or tradition or whatever you want to call it, for as long as I can remember. And the interesting thing about it is that couples usually have very peaceful, loving lives. I have witnessed and experienced first hand the results and effects of arranged marriage, and even though this idea is very foreign to a lot of Americans, even downright ridiculous, I have recently realized that it is one of the best ways to lead a happy and successful life. One thing I want to mention is that divorces are much greater in America than in India and this is due to the fact that people get married thinking that they are in love with their significant other but than after a few years, get divorced because of some issue or the other. However, you will not see this happening a lot in my culture. Yes, nowadays, more and more people are getting divorces and stuff in India but it is definitely no where near to the rate it is in America. I definitely believe in a person's right to choose and stuff, and arranged marriage doesn't mean that you are robbed of all rights. You do choose what person you want to marry, you talk to them, get to know them, and all that stuff, so in a sense, it is quasi-dating. I hope this has cleared some of the misconceptions that I have found a lot of my non Indian friends share. If you have any comments or anything, please state it and I'll be glad to discuss it.
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Anshal, it is nice to see the differences within the Indian and America Cultures in regards to marriage. I was born in America, but both of my parents are from Pakistan. I visited in 2003, and I can definitely say that the Indian and Pakistani cultures are quite similar when it comes to the topic of marriage. It did seem a bit different for me, growing up in New York. You definitely have to appreciate the difference and richness of culture. Personally, I believe that the arranged marriage notion is changing dramatically, but it still persists in that part of the world.
ReplyDeleteThere was definitely arranged marriage back in China in the old days, but now, this is not practiced anymore. (unless the person really can't find someone, sometimes the parts would set up blind dates or whatnot.) So when one of my friends who was Indian announced that she was getting married at 18, it definitely shocked me! She was marrying this guy that she only met for a few times and this guy was someone her parents chose. Not having the choice of choosing who I want to be with for the rest of my life is a pretty scary thought for me. I want the freedom of choosing who to marry and spend my life with. Yea I realized you mentioned that you get to choose what person you want to marry, but it just doesn't feel the same as meeting the right one at the right time. I didn't know that this was still a very normal practice in India. I'm still in awe learning that this is common in some cultures.
ReplyDeleteThe modern system of arranged marriage is somewhat similar to blind date, Some studies do show that arranged marriages last far longer than marriages by love. You cannot easily say either is right or wrong. Anything exsits is reasonable. They are just based on different cultures.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly you mean by the desi culture of marriage. Although I can see the point you're trying to make, I don't think the high divorce rates in America is because of dating before marriage. Indian culture has a lower divorce rate because of religious influence and the lower standings women have. After women were granted equal rights, divorce rates in America flourished. I know that in South American counties dating before marriage is on the rise and is the new norm.
ReplyDeleteTwo of my best friends growing up are Indian. Ranjina and Shankara Ettique had been born in raised in America, but their parents were obviously from India and were the product of an arrange marriage. At first, this seemed soooo weird to me, but after getting to know them and see the two of them interact, it kinda made sense.
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